Ok, so maybe i'm not so consistent

When I left you three weeks ago, I said I would do my best to write once a week. Apparently that was all just an elaborate lie of mine to convince you to come back over and over again expecting results. But there have been none! HA! That'll teach you to trust me, or something like that. Really what it comes down to is a mix of laziness and stuff that I was doing. The stuff though was swing-dancing and work, so nothing that should have prevented this moment from occuring. Instead, I spent a whole lot of time reading and sleeping. That precious time could have been spent riffing on something totally meaningless on this site, which I am doing at this moment. I really do believe that this is my release from reality. Here I get to talk about all sorts of things that really have no relevant anything to them. It's just a whole bunch of non-sense back to back to back... And we all love us some nonsense.

But the subject which seemed to come up quite often this past week was etiquette. And not just any, but Southern. Why? because myself and friend (Leeny, for those that know her) were hellbent on educating on of her friends on the way to be a southern gentleman. Granted, he's from northern Ohio, so he was a little slow on the uptake, but we still did what we could to help. That's when we started going over all the little rules, which will be discussed later, one by one. Anyway, I started thinking about these rules and all, that's when three things crossed my mind. First, that a whole ton of these are somewhat outdated, considering women's lib, automatic locks, sewer systems, and automatic doors. Second, that some women do find offense when some of these rules are followed, but even they like to be pampered on occasion. Which leads into point three, A proper southern gentleman would clean up in the north. He'd have women knocking on his door at all hours, so cool.

Then all these rules, well, there are the ones everyone knows: Hold open doors, Open the car door, close the car door, give her a hand to help her up out of a seat, walk on the street side of the sidewalk. There are the ones that less people know: Pull her seat out, and then push it back in under her so she is close to the table. Stand when she gets up to leave the table. Order food for both of you (after asking what she wants) or let her order first, this all depends on the girl. Let her choose her seat first, then you take one of the remaining seats. And then there are the rules that nobody ever seems to know: Always lead when walking, even if it's by only half a step, especially when going down stairs. Exception to rule, when going up stairs, she goes first, in case she falls, you can catch/break fall. Also, going thru a doorway, even when the doors are propped, she goes first. She is the first to take a bite of food, don't start until she does. Always let her offer to pay, then don't let her. I can on for a while with these, but I'm sure people get the point. There's just all these rules.

So going back to this education thing, we were realizing that northern men have no freaking clue about any of these and how to treat a lady. I've learned this when I open doors in the north and they look at me like i'm some kind of alien. I remember giving up a seat on a bus to an old lady in boston and i just got these "what the hell?" looks from everyone. But the point is that I have no idea why I'm talking about this. I think it's time to switch up topics.

Maybe salt shakers would be more sensible. Well, not sensible but more like me. Cuase let's face it, when am i ever sensible. I do things, i think about them later, but sensible, it's not my forte. I really do think that a random ass subject like salt shakers, coming in the middle of something completely unrelated, like this, is more like me than talking about a subject that's not that funny. But why salt shakers do you ask? well, i personally don't know, it was the first thing that popped into my head. so it was that or antelope, and I don't really want to talk about antelope. But yeah, salt shakers, i always thought about the why thing. Cuase they all empty out at different rates, so when with one you don't get enough, the next one it's like eating a salt-lick. I mean really. But anyway, i don't feel like typing any more. I just needed to put something down. Sorry it wasn't all that funny. Acutally, had barely any humor, but i just like to think 0f it as a bridging of the gap to my next post which won't suck :)