A few of my favorite things...

I'm finding that quite possibly the three most entertaining things in this world are movies, sports and republicans, and all for three very different reasons. Movies cause they're a great way to use up a few hours. Even if you've seen it once, chances are if it was any good, you'll see it again. Case and point, buying movies you love and then watching them over and over. I think I've watched 3 amigos something like 100 times (probably less), but I can quote that movie with ease. My favorite being the "plethora" scene. I think I need a nickname like El Guapo. I mean, I have BJ/Broken Jew, Benathan, Littlest Jew, Dan, a few others here and there, but nothing near as cool as El Guapo. Little Neddy Knickers is a pretty good name too.

Next up, Sports. You can talk sports anytime relating to all of them. If you need proof of this, just talk to Richard (Big Gay Richy K as I like to call him, and that's an awesome nickname mind you), he only talks sports. Only thing that EVER crosses his mind.

Lastly and most entertaining, Republicans. I usually refer to them as intelligently impaired, but sometimes, I go with conservatives or elephants. I think Peter Griffin puts it best when he says "...the two symbols of the Republican party, an Elephant and a fat white guy afraid of change." I know I have a lot of friends that are Republicans, and I do feel sorry for them that they're actually that dumb, but hey, that's the way it is. The real problem is they make me dislike elephants, and elephants are cool. Minus that whole smelling about as nice as a pile of shit thing, cause that's actually not cool. Since I don't want to offend anyone's views but still offend them simply for being stupid republicans, I'm avoiding politics if you haven't noticed. And while talking about things that piss 'pubs off (and yes, they're 'pubs from now on) I can't explain why I find Anne Heche strangely appealing. I mean is it the fact she's a lesbian or that whole short blond hair thing or is it that she's really rich and I'd marry a lesbian for money. Know what they say, marry the first time for money, second time for more money, third time for a shit-ton of money, and the fourth for love. Problem is I don't know if I can find 3 gullible enough to marry me without a pre-nub, then get them to divorce me for non-cheating reasons. So back to 'pubs, and not the kind I like where you sit and drink beer. I mean, there are plenty of 'pubs that like beer, just saying I can't exactly sit inside of them now can I? So where was I? Oh, 'pubs, yeah, they're stupid...I think I've said that a few times. I guess I'll say the reason they are is that they are. Might sound like a really dumb way to argue, but if you've ever talked politics with a 'pub, you'd see that that's actually about 10 times more convincing of an argument than they tend to give. Idea for Next Post...what political party are different superheros and why....stay tuned, it'll probably show up on thursday.

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Sorry about the inability to do this earlier, I'm new to this whole blog thing. Anyway, let me first start with the new name, Shinola. The story behind this is actually extremely short, odd for a name that off kilter. Anyway, at work, there's this postcard advertisement for Shinola, a shoe-polish brand. The ad shows a tin of their shoe polish next to a pile of dog shit and simply says below it "Know the difference". This was one of the original mottos at 5 Seasons, and I thought it was appropriate, cause I like to believe that my posts aren't dog shit.

Since I am void of original ideas tonight, I'm gonna lean toward talking about stuff I didn't want to post originally. First off, as I just found out from Kristen, not having any caffiene for a long time (about a month) then having a bit causes a nice buzz. This is something I'm gonna have to try, so I think I'm gonna start limiting caffiene intake for the next month and there will be updates on my dellusions, real or created for your amusement.

Secondly, why are bobbleheads so freakin' cool? I only have one, it's of NOMAH!!!! And if you don't know who I'm talking about when I say NOMAH, ask, I'll explain if necessary. Anyway, the bobblehead is the greatest invention of the modern era. Better than the computer, better than coke (both the drug and the drink, which now that I think about it, is as addictive as the drug and probably just as satisfying). I think it's just the fact that those heads are sooooo much fun. Hours of swaying to and fro, to and fro, to and fro, it's hypnotizing. I ask a question, Nomar says yes. I ask another one, still he nods, days of this can go by and he never stops agreeing with me. These bobbleheads, oh, they're not just statuettes for us to admire our heros with, no, it is not idolotry, but they are in fact the best friends ever. They're the ultimate "Yes Man" because they can't say no, they even smile (if made with one) as they nod, oh yes, I love my bobble head.

Thirdly, TICKETMASTER should rot and die a fiery death in hell!!! I just went online to buy some baseball tickets and the convenience charge was like 3-4 bucks a ticket...that's ridiculous!!!

Lastly, Why am I such a wuss? That's an open-ended question for all of you. I know this was a long post, but I like to think it's a funny one.

Name ideas

So I was trying to think up names for the blog, and here are some of them, feel free to contribute:
1. A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything."
2. You Suck At Life
3. Rantings of a guy who doesn't rant all that often cause he's not too fond of ranting since it's so rant like.
4. Confessions of a rather complacent mind, never been one for danger
5. Hung Like a Wookie...
6. Cause they only have one leg
7. Ok, so 5 and 6 were really one name, broken into two
8. And 7 wasn't actually a name, but more of comment
9. Here's where the names start again
10. When I grow up, I want to be a junkie (does anyone else remember this commercial?)
11. I like chicken, I like liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix, please deliver.
12. Maybe one day I can grow up and be as cool as you
13. Maybe it shoulda been the rule of wrist...
14. We can talk about stickers. You like stickers right?
15. I love me too
16. The Littlest Jew (thanks for this one Jess)
17. Everything I know about...well, everything...which isn't much

So there's my list, now on to randomness. I think I want to own a bookstore/coffee shop/restaurant/comdedy club one day. Seems like a good idea, who knows. Our weather is the freakiest thing ever, I think it's gone skitzo (did I spell that right?). Nothing too random occurred to me otherwise, hopefully I can be more entertaining sometime soon.

The Ultimate Field Trip

So as I'm walking back from class I see three of those vans that GT gives out for events (the 16 person vans) packed with the janitor types from campus. I knew it was them since they were all wearing those blue jumpers with the GT Facilities badge on it. I got to thinking, why would there be three vans packed with them? and that's when it hit me....

JANITORLAND!!! It's the ultimate of theme parks. There are rides like Flush and Freshen Water Slide, Push Broom Bumper Cars, and the Dunk and Mop Water Adventure. Also, to keep them entertained, there are random deposits of trash throughout the park to be picked up (no worries, they get replaced at the top of every hour). Obviously, I've put way too much thought into this, so that's why I should bring up the other possibility for why they were in those....

CLONES!!! Cause they get pulled from the tanks fresh daily, and thrown onto the vans to get brought to GT for cleaning purposes. But if that really were the case, I would think they'd actually clone people who do their job more than (arbitrary number) 24% of the time. So.....

COMMON HOUSING!!! Yes, They all live together in one big ass apartment. Might seem unlikely, but the more you think about it, the more sense it starts to make. Kind of like OJ being found not guilty, cause he didn't do it, right????? And lastly....

FIELD TRIP!!! To the janitor museum/hall of fame. They can marvel in the wonders of the greatest moppers, broomers and scrubers of all time. Men with repuations like Joe, Mike and Bob (no last names, they're just janitors after all).

Any other suggestions??

P.S. Thanks for posting Kristen and Christine.

How to run things...

I've realized that I'm a segregationist, and a hardcore one at that. But not in terms of race or anything like that, I think we should all be separated by intelligence, and especially in the airport. Going thru security, I realized just how retarded 99.9% of the world's population really is. It took a good 45 seconds to a minute per person to go thru the metal detector at the airport. I really don't get what's so freakin' difficult about this, you go thru, it makes no sound, you move on. Apparently, it's more complicated than that. Not only does it have to make no sound, but you have to look right and not act suspicious and stuff. I really want to know what acting suspicious is, since one time I was talking about my GBI work and openly talking about heroin and cocaine while going thru the security area, and I'm not stopped, but my dad who's wearing a tie, carrying a computer bag and holding normal news of the day conversation gets pulled to the side since he's suspicious. I think if they set all this up where the smarter people get their own lines while the idiots get stuck together, the whole airport thing would go much faster. I'm also dumbfounded by the idea people get that if you stand up right away when the plane lands you'll somehow get off of it sooner. I think they're too stupid to realize that they don't get to move until the doors get opened and the guy in front of them actually goes somewhere. I honestly believe if they just grouped all us smarter types together, the whole world would work better, but too many people think that's wrong or something, whatever.

On a different note, I might end up on an ESPN show, if I do, I'll tell everyone, no worries. Also, might try and stop being a wuss one of these days. Last, there's an off-chance that someone (anyone) could make me happier if they just post a damned comment on this thing. I've written twice and not a single word left for me. I feel super-unloved. Feel free to leave topics to write about.