let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good thing and the bad things that kill me, let's talk about death. so i know what you're thinking, isn't this awful morbid for a ben post? Well, no, cause really, i'm not gonna talk about it near as much as you think, for once, i'm actually gonna ramble on with no point. And by saying "for once" i mean, like always. Cause you know me, i like to talk about nothing, it's my forte. Other people are good with computers, some with cars, others with literature, me, i'm good at nothing. And by nothing, i mean, this, cuase this is nothing at its best. I'm working on perfecting nothing. Waiting for the day when i'm in a job interview and they look at me and say "so what are you best at?" and i say "nothing", then they tell me to leave, so i have to explain what i mean by that. That's when they call security and are like "never come back again. And (as i'm getting dragged away) nice resume paper, really stood out." Which i just think would be funny, if they actually told you they liked the paper. That's like them walking up to you and saying, "so, we really don't care about your qualifications, or even if you have experience or education, but if you put down that extra 7 cents, that really says to us, that's a go getter, our kinda guy, those educated types are just a waste of our time. Let's judge by paper, not really anything that matters." Is that what they do? I dunno, i like to think they actually judge on teh snaziness of tie you wear, or for ladies of the tie you would be wearing if you had a penis. I think ties are where it's at. Ever see one of those ties that just makes you go "ooooo, pretty", you know the kind of tie i'm talking about. Like those really nice ones that go well with a suit, make good for interviews, and are snazzy and stuff. And how about the word snazzy, don't you just love it? I mean, is there a better word out there? If so, please do tell me, i think that snazzy is the bestest word out there. It almost sounds like you have a speach impediment cause you're saying a word that just sounds kinda off. Just say it to yourself...SNAZZY. Now say it with an sh at the beginning, shanzzy, sounds a little cooler, and a little more fucked up. Now add another sh later in the z's. Shanshzy. You sound like a 90 year old jewish man who forgot to put in his teeth today. It's the sexiest way to talk ever. Makes you think of George Burns, oh yeah, that's hot, gets those ladies, i mean the sweetness, all flustered just thinking about it. Ok, let your imagination run wild on this one. You and a guy who's say, oh 22, messing around. (realize the subtle hint about age, cause i'm 22, get it?) Then he goes into the bathroom, comes out and boom, he's a 90 year old man, wrinkly and decrepit. Oh, that is SO hot. You know it, just thinking about all the crevices throughout the body, oh, so sexy. And then that little raisin of a penis, that'll be the hottest thing in history. Now, try and get that image out of your head, i dare ya. Ok, so you can't, sorry. But you know that you're gonna be laughing about it for quite a while now. And any time you get in a bad mood, just click your heels together three times and say, "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's a really shrively penis on a 90 year old man over there" and that should help with the mood. I think it's more the act of saying, or even just thinking, the phrase "shrively penis" that does it for me. that's just the funniest thing this side of Shnashzy to me. Granted, i can describe a good tie as snazzy, but i can't describe it as shrively penis. And really, when in your life do you get to say those words and it not be really depressing. Cuase the other times you would say it are "i ahve a shrively penis" That's super duper bad. "my husband/boyfriend has a shrively penis" that sucks for you, big time, i mean, it'd be like fucking a cashew, what's the point? But if you say "that guy has a shrively penis" that might be funnier, but then that gets followed up by "how do you know?" which will warrant an explanation. That explanation will probably not be good enough and you'll be there, like you're deserted on a desert island (see new TV show Lost, starring the hobbit dude that's not frodo or samwise, but the other guy) and everyone's staring at you and your 90 year old shrively penis. I think i like typing that. And i made that up, but no, the explanation part, taht would suck, cause the explaning would never be satisfactory and when it finally was, well, you'd be out a ton of pride. So, where was i? oh yeah, death. I was saying, death doesn't always have to be a morbid topic. You can have a line more like "so my buddy, death, we were out last night painting the town red. Ok, so i was just getting drunk, but you know those mythological guys, they take ever thing so seriously. So he goes to home depot, buys 5 million gallons of red paint, and next thing you know, boom, buckhead is red (that rhymed). So when he's in teh middle of it a couple of cops try to stop him, so what's he do? stop, no, he goes, you shoudl get home, your dog's about to die. I mean, this guy was a riot for the first few months, but then, he gets alittle out of control. Get 2 or 3 shots of tequila into death and next thing you know, the family pet's at risk. I think i've learned my lesson, he's sticking to beer. Never gets hungover from it, acts like less of an asshole, and well, you know, death hungover, that leads to lots of strange occurences. He was telling me some hangover stories. JFK, fifth of jack the night before in houston. RFK, well, let's just say the reaper likes his reefer. Marilyn Monroe, he went the wrong frat party (you know which one) and woke up saying "damn those roofies, now i have to kill a famous young person to make me feel alive again." Which that's kidna funny, cause he's never been alive, he's just this mythical entity. So yeah, death, that sucks.
And st heard something about people being stuffed into coffee cups, that would hurt. Alot.
Also, why have cups you can't put in teh dishwasher? That's the kind of thing that an incompetent social chair would do. Wait, wait, he did. My B. So tonight's guess the quote is this "Everybody needs money, that's why they call it money."
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Saturday, September 18, 2004
gay = bad
The infestation must be stopped. They're like termites, destroying the foundation of our society. They should be exterminated. Silly fags. That's what you would hear if i was a right wing, conservative asshole. But i'm not, as some would say, I'm a Liberal Hippy Douche, or as I like to be called, cool mack daddy hipster douche. Yeah, so that was really lame, but still, I told some people that I would title this one "gay = bad" so i did. Granted I was tempted to title it "gay = delicious" but that might have been taken the wrong way, so then i thought up "gay/straight - confused = that guy" or the obvious "gay + straight = bi", but taht was too easy. The one that i was really considering was "gay * sick ^ disgusting / normal = republican" but that might have offended some of my readers. I would have been right, but still it would have offended them.
So on to more important matters, like what's going on in my head. Which honestly, is nothing, i'm not much of a thinker, more of a spewer, just let the ideas flow as they come, see what drops by, comes out, seems funny, gets typed, you know how it is. Or you don't cause you're not me, and be a little thankful, cause my mind is a mess of pointless thoguhts. Nothing really comes thru too clearly except for when i'm really passionate about somehting, like baseball, movies or giving important advice to a close friend. And yes, i do give good advice, ask the gay types, i give them good advice, except for "the fag" (and he knows who he is, and yes, that makes me "the jew"), cause well, he doesn't need my advice, but we compliment eachother well, i think that's why we're such good friends. And now for the funny, i swear, it's coming, but wait, i have to go to work, so i'll finish this at some later time.
so now i'm back from work. It's been a good 10 hours or so. I was thinking these really profound thoughts on teh way back, but they're really not sticking in there. I was at a bar and thinking funny stuff, and now, it's gone, oh well. So I have to think of something to write here to entertain you, don't i? Well, i figure i can start iwth my favorite subject in the world, BEER! Beer is like the nectar of the gods. Except, well, if you take that literally, that would make it kinda like the jizz of the gods and that not cool, cause, as i mentioned in the title, gay=bad. Really, would you want to drink it if that's what it was? If you answer yes to this and are female, please, feel free to share this with me...vitally important information and all. So yeah, I was saying, beer is awesome. I think we should go back to the way it was before water purification existed and you drank beer instead cause it was safer. That would be soooooo super cool, it'd give me an excuse to drink at any point in time. But it would have such low alcohol content that it wouldn't really effect me.
And i was thinking about the earlier part of the post, wouldn't it be weird if i wasn't a liberal hippy type? I mean, imagine me as a crazy fuck-off right wing bastard. That would be SOOOOO weird. I would hate most of humanity (wait, i already do) but i would also be a right-wing bastard. That would so suck. I mean, i have nothing against them (except that they suck at life, like you do) and i really do like people (no, not really, just saying that to be nice), cuase they're people. yay people. Yay soylent green!!!! Soylent green is made of people!!!! yay to charleton heston for introducing that line into american pop culture.
And you ever think about that line "just saying it to be nice". It's like saying "well, fuck you times 1000, i really think you suck to the extreme, but i'm saying this to look like i don't hate you, then i'm going to announce that you suck to every one by saying 'well, just to be nice' cause you don't deserve nice, due to your suckiness". That's the biggest fuck you ever. I can see it now, "just to be nice, i would say that's a beautiful dress" which can be translated to "that trashy piece of shit looks like something a hooker would give away cause it's too risque for her, a little too trashy i would venture." I think that's gonna be my new thing, i'll start every sentence with "just to be nice" and see how many times i get punched, slapped, shot or killed. I'm betting in one week, the number exceeds 10. So, just to be nice, i'm gonna end this post. And i'll end it with this line (cookie if you know what it's from) "can you blow me where the pampers is?"
So on to more important matters, like what's going on in my head. Which honestly, is nothing, i'm not much of a thinker, more of a spewer, just let the ideas flow as they come, see what drops by, comes out, seems funny, gets typed, you know how it is. Or you don't cause you're not me, and be a little thankful, cause my mind is a mess of pointless thoguhts. Nothing really comes thru too clearly except for when i'm really passionate about somehting, like baseball, movies or giving important advice to a close friend. And yes, i do give good advice, ask the gay types, i give them good advice, except for "the fag" (and he knows who he is, and yes, that makes me "the jew"), cause well, he doesn't need my advice, but we compliment eachother well, i think that's why we're such good friends. And now for the funny, i swear, it's coming, but wait, i have to go to work, so i'll finish this at some later time.
so now i'm back from work. It's been a good 10 hours or so. I was thinking these really profound thoughts on teh way back, but they're really not sticking in there. I was at a bar and thinking funny stuff, and now, it's gone, oh well. So I have to think of something to write here to entertain you, don't i? Well, i figure i can start iwth my favorite subject in the world, BEER! Beer is like the nectar of the gods. Except, well, if you take that literally, that would make it kinda like the jizz of the gods and that not cool, cause, as i mentioned in the title, gay=bad. Really, would you want to drink it if that's what it was? If you answer yes to this and are female, please, feel free to share this with me...vitally important information and all. So yeah, I was saying, beer is awesome. I think we should go back to the way it was before water purification existed and you drank beer instead cause it was safer. That would be soooooo super cool, it'd give me an excuse to drink at any point in time. But it would have such low alcohol content that it wouldn't really effect me.
And i was thinking about the earlier part of the post, wouldn't it be weird if i wasn't a liberal hippy type? I mean, imagine me as a crazy fuck-off right wing bastard. That would be SOOOOO weird. I would hate most of humanity (wait, i already do) but i would also be a right-wing bastard. That would so suck. I mean, i have nothing against them (except that they suck at life, like you do) and i really do like people (no, not really, just saying that to be nice), cuase they're people. yay people. Yay soylent green!!!! Soylent green is made of people!!!! yay to charleton heston for introducing that line into american pop culture.
And you ever think about that line "just saying it to be nice". It's like saying "well, fuck you times 1000, i really think you suck to the extreme, but i'm saying this to look like i don't hate you, then i'm going to announce that you suck to every one by saying 'well, just to be nice' cause you don't deserve nice, due to your suckiness". That's the biggest fuck you ever. I can see it now, "just to be nice, i would say that's a beautiful dress" which can be translated to "that trashy piece of shit looks like something a hooker would give away cause it's too risque for her, a little too trashy i would venture." I think that's gonna be my new thing, i'll start every sentence with "just to be nice" and see how many times i get punched, slapped, shot or killed. I'm betting in one week, the number exceeds 10. So, just to be nice, i'm gonna end this post. And i'll end it with this line (cookie if you know what it's from) "can you blow me where the pampers is?"
Friday, September 10, 2004
Don't read this...It's about you
This post goes out to my roomie, and one of my best friends, Skokie. He's an idiot, he knows he's an idiot, well, hell, we all know he's an idiot, but we love him anyway. Basically, he's about the only person that I know who would write about something online that he didn't want someone to know. And of course, with his luck, they read it, and boom, that's that. So this post goes out to all my loyal readers....it's about you :)
First off, let's start with the honeys, or as they will be referred to for the rest of the post, sweetness. So I've decided that sweetness is a wonderful thing. They're nice, they torment you, but really, without the torment, would the nice really feel that nice? It's kind of like if all you ever ate was candy, wouldn't it stop tasting good? So here's what you do guys, you line up two sets of sweetness, one that torments the ever living hell out of you, and one that does the exact opposite. It's almost like jumping from the pool to the hot tub, and oh my does that transition feel awesome, except when you hop in and you get one of those hugs shorts bubbles and it looks like you fart this humungous fart when you push it out of your shorts (and face it, when else in your life can the phrase "push it out of your shorts" be completely innocent like that). The other time that transition sucks is when you go in, then stand up real quick and boom, naked. I mean, it feels nice, but damn, it's embarassing (not for me, i don't get embarassed, but for all the other people there who have to stare at my special spots). OK, so they don't have to stare, but they do, cause it's like "this might be wrong, oh well, that's a special area, and I see it." It's almost like they let you into area 51 for a general tour, not like sneaking in. Cuase if you get there by less overt means (like getting me in bed :-P) then it's ok, but if you get the public view (see Hot Tub) well, that's just wrong, think strip club but i get no money :( So where was I? Oh yeah, sweetness, which i think should really be something more along the lines of bitter-sweetness, cause every fly honey sweetness (and yes, i know, i'm white, and i mean really white) loves to torture guys, they know they do, if they say they don't, they're lying. But hey, take the good with the bad, enjoy them both, have a ball, two in fact, and smile.
Then on to the other side of the spectrum (from the angle of the sweetness) the dudes, we'll call them ABBNQSTLICCAYKI (Almost Ben But Not Quite So They Lack In Certain Capacities And You Know It) or for short nuh-uhs (cause when you ask if they're me, you go "nuh-uh"). Ok, so that name makes me look SOOOOOOOO egotistical, but well, first, i'm kidding, second, if you really think i'm serious (or that egotistical) maybe you're just compensating for your insanely small penis/IQ (whichever insults you more). So the nuh-uhs, well, including me in this, we're idiots. We do the DUMBEST SHIT EVER!!! and on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes we realize it and then make the "I'm a fucking moron, please forgive me" call, sometimes we don't and someone goes "you're an ass for xyz reason" and we go "I'm a fucking moron please forgive me". So that's not all that funny, i Know, but it is fact and i felt it needed to be said. The thing about us is that we're morons, natural morons, and when it comes to those fly fly honey sweetness of lady women-type sexiness (as many descriptions as i could fit) we act even dumber. Our minds have these switches that kind of go "on for school, off for women" or in my case "off for school, off for women, off for partying, on for baseball". i've learned to cope, there are 5 things I'm good at in this world, and three relate to this blog :(
Ok, so that's my sad case, i'm pathetic, i really do nothing all day except work, i have so little social life left that when i get to act like i have one, i get all excited and fuck it up. Silly rabbit, social is for cool people, or those with the time for it. And have you ever wondered about that rabbit? I mean, really, what was he on? I always say he was a tweaker (speed addict) cause he constantly comes up with the insanely retarded plans to steal a bowl of fucking cereal. I mean really, what kind of a moron puts that much effort into 55 cents worth of cereal? I've already talked about this before regarding Barney Rubble i do believe, but this is worse. Only a tweaker would think up "if i dress up, win first place in this competition, i can win some fucking cereal." Not "I can win, get an endorsement, buy 1000x as much of the shit with my new found stash". Really, what company wouldn't pay tons for a talking skating, surfing, rollerblading, etc. rabbit? I know if i owned one, I'd give him all the cereal he'd ever want. Morons over at post, sitting on a gold mine and not exploiting it, they should loan him out to starter companies, it's brilliant. You just wish you thought shit like this up too.
So for the day, i bid you adu with "Do I look anarexic or bolemic skinny?" (did i spell anarexic and bolemic right? and regardless, cookie to the person that knows the movie, tie-breaker if you know the character/person playing them)
First off, let's start with the honeys, or as they will be referred to for the rest of the post, sweetness. So I've decided that sweetness is a wonderful thing. They're nice, they torment you, but really, without the torment, would the nice really feel that nice? It's kind of like if all you ever ate was candy, wouldn't it stop tasting good? So here's what you do guys, you line up two sets of sweetness, one that torments the ever living hell out of you, and one that does the exact opposite. It's almost like jumping from the pool to the hot tub, and oh my does that transition feel awesome, except when you hop in and you get one of those hugs shorts bubbles and it looks like you fart this humungous fart when you push it out of your shorts (and face it, when else in your life can the phrase "push it out of your shorts" be completely innocent like that). The other time that transition sucks is when you go in, then stand up real quick and boom, naked. I mean, it feels nice, but damn, it's embarassing (not for me, i don't get embarassed, but for all the other people there who have to stare at my special spots). OK, so they don't have to stare, but they do, cause it's like "this might be wrong, oh well, that's a special area, and I see it." It's almost like they let you into area 51 for a general tour, not like sneaking in. Cuase if you get there by less overt means (like getting me in bed :-P) then it's ok, but if you get the public view (see Hot Tub) well, that's just wrong, think strip club but i get no money :( So where was I? Oh yeah, sweetness, which i think should really be something more along the lines of bitter-sweetness, cause every fly honey sweetness (and yes, i know, i'm white, and i mean really white) loves to torture guys, they know they do, if they say they don't, they're lying. But hey, take the good with the bad, enjoy them both, have a ball, two in fact, and smile.
Then on to the other side of the spectrum (from the angle of the sweetness) the dudes, we'll call them ABBNQSTLICCAYKI (Almost Ben But Not Quite So They Lack In Certain Capacities And You Know It) or for short nuh-uhs (cause when you ask if they're me, you go "nuh-uh"). Ok, so that name makes me look SOOOOOOOO egotistical, but well, first, i'm kidding, second, if you really think i'm serious (or that egotistical) maybe you're just compensating for your insanely small penis/IQ (whichever insults you more). So the nuh-uhs, well, including me in this, we're idiots. We do the DUMBEST SHIT EVER!!! and on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes we realize it and then make the "I'm a fucking moron, please forgive me" call, sometimes we don't and someone goes "you're an ass for xyz reason" and we go "I'm a fucking moron please forgive me". So that's not all that funny, i Know, but it is fact and i felt it needed to be said. The thing about us is that we're morons, natural morons, and when it comes to those fly fly honey sweetness of lady women-type sexiness (as many descriptions as i could fit) we act even dumber. Our minds have these switches that kind of go "on for school, off for women" or in my case "off for school, off for women, off for partying, on for baseball". i've learned to cope, there are 5 things I'm good at in this world, and three relate to this blog :(
Ok, so that's my sad case, i'm pathetic, i really do nothing all day except work, i have so little social life left that when i get to act like i have one, i get all excited and fuck it up. Silly rabbit, social is for cool people, or those with the time for it. And have you ever wondered about that rabbit? I mean, really, what was he on? I always say he was a tweaker (speed addict) cause he constantly comes up with the insanely retarded plans to steal a bowl of fucking cereal. I mean really, what kind of a moron puts that much effort into 55 cents worth of cereal? I've already talked about this before regarding Barney Rubble i do believe, but this is worse. Only a tweaker would think up "if i dress up, win first place in this competition, i can win some fucking cereal." Not "I can win, get an endorsement, buy 1000x as much of the shit with my new found stash". Really, what company wouldn't pay tons for a talking skating, surfing, rollerblading, etc. rabbit? I know if i owned one, I'd give him all the cereal he'd ever want. Morons over at post, sitting on a gold mine and not exploiting it, they should loan him out to starter companies, it's brilliant. You just wish you thought shit like this up too.
So for the day, i bid you adu with "Do I look anarexic or bolemic skinny?" (did i spell anarexic and bolemic right? and regardless, cookie to the person that knows the movie, tie-breaker if you know the character/person playing them)
Monday, September 06, 2004
Goodnight Moon
i said goodnight moon....it's rude not to respond...ok, fine, we're not talking anymore...that moon, what a jackass. I mean really, it's like trying to use the old excuse "so, i'm an inanimate object, don't assume my ass is gonna talk back to you"...but then like adding on a friendly "bitch" at the end. I feel hurt, that was truly painful. Such an evil moon, i can't wait til the new moon, then i don't have to look at its stupid face for a whole night, that'll be nice. so mean, evil evil moon. which makes me think it's got to be female, cause boys are dumb (hence me talking to the moon) and women are evil (cause they are, i can't explain why, they just are).
And the epiphany of the day...I would so rather be smart and injured than stupid and healthy. Think about it, if you were stupid and healthy, you'd still be stupid, and while you would enjoy being healthy and all, your stupidity would cause you suck at life. On the other hand, if you're injured and smart, well, then you can just find ways to keep happy even though you're not healthy. Like if i had a broken leg, i'd still find ways to have fun and be entertained, granted all from crutches. On the other hand, if i was stupid, well, i'd be stupid, and that would suck. Speaking of stupidity....
I'm bringing my personal life into the blog....i'm confused.
Now that that's over with, is confusion so bad? I mean, eventually things will make sense, and if they make sense you're not confused anymore, and all is right in the world. That's almost like i continued on the personal track, but not really, just the random thought that i had. And i was thinking about the most confusing thing there is, when you line up your hands wrong on the keyboard. You know what i'm talking about...you don't get the fingers where they belong and instead of typing things like "hi, how are you?" you type "hi hoe str you?". Talk about confusing me, it causes lots and lots of deletion. And when the other person sees it they're like "you on crack, acid, pcp or sleep deprivation?" to which i always answer, "erll fuh, og voutdr i'm on vtsvk." :-P you know you're translating that right now....
So yeah, not really feeling like i'm at my usual form tonight, usually, i'd be blogging til the cows come home, but apparently, i'm only waiting for the mules, and they turn in early. And honestly, who came up with that statement..."til the cows come home" do they ever really leave, i thought all they do is graze. Apparently i was wrong, they hit the clubs, hook up with strangers, sleep in weird places, wake up in odder ones, get banned from bars, eat lots of Krystal (chiks, no, not cannibalism, we don't condone that here), get a shake at shitty cafe, realize they have a lab due in 6 hours, hit up mac's for some vodka, start drinking, go back home, and start on the lab report....crazy cows...i like them more and more every time i meet them. There are people out there that are cows, and if you call them one, it should be a compliment, that they're cool and party, not an insult that they're fat. Mules though, they suck, they're short, akward, not really cute, have that screetchy annoying voice, and they're no fun to ride. last time they went to a bar wasw 1978, adn that was only cause they were serving 2 for 1 hay and juice mixes. They're usually home by 10 and when they're not, they're just thinking about all of the work they have to do when they get home, not the random crossbreeds they can take back with them. Boring mules....nobody really likes them anyway. (if you're a mule, and can read, i don't apologize, cause i can have kids and you can't....HA!)
And i'm back to old form....you like, you love it, you want some more of it, uh huh, ok, uh huh, that's right....Gooooooooo BEN! And that brings me to cheers....they're kinda dumb. There are so few that are really good, like the Budweiser Song, or stuff like that. But really, I can only go "gooooo jackets" so many times before a game without finally being like "what i said before, it goes for now too, woo hoo, go team". Don't get me wrong, i love GT sports, but can i just sit and watch without having to do some of the really bad cheers? like for example the one that's like do-do-do-do-do-do, Go jackets, do-do-do-do-do-do, go jackets, do-do-do-do-do-do, go jackets, doot-do-do-do-dooooooo, AHHHH!!!! But anyway, i think i'm done with the whole posting thing today.....good luck, be cool, don't suck, and don't drool....ok, so the sign off needs work, i'll side with "i'm the greatest man alive!!!" for today....or not, cause i don't want to quote adam sandler...here is the real one, and it might stick "Together we...burned the village...raped the horses...rode off on the women...pillaged...plundered...who the hell are you?" (yay for Three Amigos)
And the epiphany of the day...I would so rather be smart and injured than stupid and healthy. Think about it, if you were stupid and healthy, you'd still be stupid, and while you would enjoy being healthy and all, your stupidity would cause you suck at life. On the other hand, if you're injured and smart, well, then you can just find ways to keep happy even though you're not healthy. Like if i had a broken leg, i'd still find ways to have fun and be entertained, granted all from crutches. On the other hand, if i was stupid, well, i'd be stupid, and that would suck. Speaking of stupidity....
I'm bringing my personal life into the blog....i'm confused.
Now that that's over with, is confusion so bad? I mean, eventually things will make sense, and if they make sense you're not confused anymore, and all is right in the world. That's almost like i continued on the personal track, but not really, just the random thought that i had. And i was thinking about the most confusing thing there is, when you line up your hands wrong on the keyboard. You know what i'm talking about...you don't get the fingers where they belong and instead of typing things like "hi, how are you?" you type "hi hoe str you?". Talk about confusing me, it causes lots and lots of deletion. And when the other person sees it they're like "you on crack, acid, pcp or sleep deprivation?" to which i always answer, "erll fuh, og voutdr i'm on vtsvk." :-P you know you're translating that right now....
So yeah, not really feeling like i'm at my usual form tonight, usually, i'd be blogging til the cows come home, but apparently, i'm only waiting for the mules, and they turn in early. And honestly, who came up with that statement..."til the cows come home" do they ever really leave, i thought all they do is graze. Apparently i was wrong, they hit the clubs, hook up with strangers, sleep in weird places, wake up in odder ones, get banned from bars, eat lots of Krystal (chiks, no, not cannibalism, we don't condone that here), get a shake at shitty cafe, realize they have a lab due in 6 hours, hit up mac's for some vodka, start drinking, go back home, and start on the lab report....crazy cows...i like them more and more every time i meet them. There are people out there that are cows, and if you call them one, it should be a compliment, that they're cool and party, not an insult that they're fat. Mules though, they suck, they're short, akward, not really cute, have that screetchy annoying voice, and they're no fun to ride. last time they went to a bar wasw 1978, adn that was only cause they were serving 2 for 1 hay and juice mixes. They're usually home by 10 and when they're not, they're just thinking about all of the work they have to do when they get home, not the random crossbreeds they can take back with them. Boring mules....nobody really likes them anyway. (if you're a mule, and can read, i don't apologize, cause i can have kids and you can't....HA!)
And i'm back to old form....you like, you love it, you want some more of it, uh huh, ok, uh huh, that's right....Gooooooooo BEN! And that brings me to cheers....they're kinda dumb. There are so few that are really good, like the Budweiser Song, or stuff like that. But really, I can only go "gooooo jackets" so many times before a game without finally being like "what i said before, it goes for now too, woo hoo, go team". Don't get me wrong, i love GT sports, but can i just sit and watch without having to do some of the really bad cheers? like for example the one that's like do-do-do-do-do-do, Go jackets, do-do-do-do-do-do, go jackets, do-do-do-do-do-do, go jackets, doot-do-do-do-dooooooo, AHHHH!!!! But anyway, i think i'm done with the whole posting thing today.....good luck, be cool, don't suck, and don't drool....ok, so the sign off needs work, i'll side with "i'm the greatest man alive!!!" for today....or not, cause i don't want to quote adam sandler...here is the real one, and it might stick "Together we...burned the village...raped the horses...rode off on the women...pillaged...plundered...who the hell are you?" (yay for Three Amigos)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)