My jumblies

So I spent my entire last post talking about body parts, mainly those considered unmentionables. This post however, is looking to be entirely different. Why will it be different? I have yet to discover this, but I can promise there will be a stark constrast between this post and the last. I could spend the whole time talking about something other than body parts, or I could talk about different body parts altogether, or (and this seems more likely minute by minute) I could just talk about my last post in this kind of manner. However, I feel I should do my best to create some level of original work.

Speaking of original work, ever wonder why some rappers get credit for originality or talent when they don't have either. Particularly, Puff Daddy or P. Diddy, or I like using the letter P cause I think I make me cooler. I mean really, the man's name is Sean Combs. How the hell did that become Puffy? Did he do too many drugs and he was known for his puffy eyes? Or was it the fact that he seems to love fur coats that are 20000 layers thick and 4 sizes too big? I mean, that would make me puffy, I know that for sure. And why don't non-rappers get these kind of nicknames?

The really cool nicknames have been dominated by the rappers: Jay-Z, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre. These are quality names. Still my favorite is DJ Jazzy Jeff. It's just fun to say, tons of fun i think. Try it out...doesn't that alliteration just roll of the tounge? Now try it in a southern accent, it comes more like Deeeeee-Jaaay Jayzey Jayff. Goes from 5 syllables to somewhere between 8 and 15. But that still brings up the question why? Is it because names like Sean Combs and Marshall Mathers just aren't "hard" enough? I would name other rappers by real name, but I don't know any, sorry.

So going back to what I was saying, a mixture of why? and why not other musicians? I can see Joshua Bell coming out to dropped lights, a fog machine, some strobe lights, dancers and a big screen flashing "J-Bell" over and over as he gets on stage. Then some beautiful woman bringing him his violin as he stands front and center. Ok, so that's not too cool. How about Diana Krall? She could go by Special K, sit behind the piano and in that hardcore kind of way, start singing the old jazz classics. Maybe I just answered my own question as to why the other artists don't have those nicknames, but it still leaves the question as to why they have such cool ones.

I really want to know if someone named Brody, Chauncey, Bret, something super-anglo, could make it as a rapper. I'm not saying they'd have to white too, just have one of those "hello, i'm the butler, (insert name here)" kind of names. And that would be great, if all butlers had to have those kind of names. I really would have to get one just for the purpose of waking up each day and saying "morning Jeeves." And it's ok, you can admit it, if you were hiring a butler, you would name him jeeves too. Did I just say name him? I meant get one named. But then again if you hired the guy, you might want one cool enough that they would let you name them, and of all names, Jeeves. That name is pretty sweet though. Maybe that'll be my rapper name.

One day, you'll see it, DJ Jeevesy Jones. I think that's what I really want to be. A rapper. Ok and going back, yeah, my name isn't Jones, but then again, it's closer to reality than Puff Daddy. Have you ever met someone named Puffy? That's what I thought. Now, how about jones? That you have. So it's feasible. And I know i'm white, and not just white, but WHITE. So this would all be in vain as the chance of people wanting to see me rap would be non-existant, even if they didn't know that I have no rapping talent. none, none at all. And I mean zero, nada, zilch, zippo. I'll stop with that now. Actually, I'll stop with everything. That'll show you!

And with that I must say I heart Jeeves, not a person, just the name. That and my balls. if you don't understand, see the previous post.