New Pet Peeve

Just figured out something that i HATE!!!! When people post a comment and don't put their name. What are you afraid of? Think i'm gonna be like..."they had a negative comment about my blog, oh no, my life is shattered." If you haven't realized this by now, i don't give a shit. Unless you're one of a very small handful of people, you're opinion of me matters about as much as the feelings of a minnow to a larger predatory fish. Basically, they're a moot point. That's all, I don't care.

And yes, this is the second post in less than 5 hours. New record for me. But sometimes things just grab you and you feel the need to write them down. Hopefully this will make a few more people happy cause i'm writing more often again. However, it feels like i've lost my touch. I'm not rambling with the same enthusiasm and disgust at the same time that i used to. Really, that was the secret, i just type about how much i hate a whole lot of things and ramble about it. It's the enthusiastic bitching that makes this amusing, not anything else really. And to the person taht thought the last post was more amusing than the one before it, what were you smoking? This last one was kinda wussy, but the one before it, well that had charecter. I talked about parrots and tootsie-pops, those are quality subjects. I think the key to a quality subject is to find something 100% useless and just talk and talk about it.

For example, those chinese iron musical stress ball thingees. If you don't know what they are, well, that name for them was basically their description. Anyway, i think they're super fascinating. I've spent way too much time trying to figure out the best way to roll my balls in my hand without them touching. That was really really dirty sounding i know, but it was meant to be clean. And the word balls, used to just mean balls, but now it's all about the testicles. I can be like, nice balls. Automatically, they'd think i'm extending congratulations on a marvelous set of man marbles, but in actuality i could be complementing something different like personalized golf balls. That's really one hell of a good name for them. Man Marbles. You wish you thought of that. now i'm going to use it randomly in conversation so everyone i know can look at me like a little crackchild. I can see it now "so this guy had huge man marbles...." "what'd you say?" "Man marbles...you know balls." and then we'd be back at square one, balls being the only viable word for testicles that doesn't sound clinical. I always think there should be fun names and serious names for things. Like penis v. pedro (and yes, he throws a mean changeup :-P) or something like taht. I would think everyone should use pitchers' names to name their penis with. Imagine it, soemthing like "Derek...he's got a hell of a sinker." And then the girl would start to think about what a sinker would entail. If everyone had to name their penis for a major league pitcher, due to a pitch that guy uses. Really, just look out for the guy who names it for Tim Wakefield and his Knuckleball. I guess taht's not as bad as a fastball, curveball or spitter. Just think what those would entail. I guess thoser aren't even the worst though, just imagine a splitter, palmball, or a cutter. Now those sound horribly unpleasant. Good thing i'm on the pitching end.

Now that brings up a good point. Guys always name their penis, but do girls name their vagina? I hear that they name their boobs, but that doesn't really hold that much weight, i mean, boobs don't do much more than sit there and look pretty. Granted, we do love them and are very very happy that they're there, but still, i think something needs to have a function to be names. I guess they could be names for livestock, but that's terribly unsexy. I think the idea is to shoot for sexy and if not that, then funny. Why not have them all have teh vaginas be named for catchers. it's appropriate. Varitek for the all-purpose, stops everything, never fails kind. Pudge (i know that sounds really bad) for teh all around best there is, great in every possible facet with very very little to be desired cause it's so nice. Benito Santiago for the old used beat up one that everyone says they're too good for but secretly would rather have than the fresh inexperienced has no clue what it's doing one. That inexperienced one could be the Joe Mauer. Or you could have teh one that's nothing more than a great place to throw your balls at (no other skills) called teh Mike Matheny. Lastly, there is teh doesn't really get along with the pitchers all that well, but damn can hit that homerun more often than the others, that's your AJ Pierzinski (i spelled that wrong). I think i've got a new system here. Any more suggestions for this list? Any ideas for a better system? I'm open to be persuaded into new thought. I'm easy like that. Nothing difficult about me. I'm quite simple minded. Yay for easy stuff!!!!

Ok, so taht's it, time for sleepy by now. NIGHT!