Why does it have to work this way?

So every time I've ever met a girl and said to myself "oh my god, she is way too hot to be true" they're always teh dumbest people EVER! It's like on a scale of 1 to 100 for hotness, a girl can be anywhere from 1 to 90 and have any level of intelligence and niceness. On the other hand, once you pass 90 a girl tends to suck in one of those two departments, usually intelligence. I don't know if most people agree with me, but i'd rather have an intelligent 80 than a damned-near retarded 95. I know what you're thinking, a guy thinking with his head....(and the one in the north, not the south) what's going on here? Well, simply put, i think i'd rather have a girl that I want to talk to first rather than one where i think "how can i shut her up and get her in bed, then out without having to hear that inane yabbering she calls a conversation?", cause really, if the conversation is pleasant too, it's all that much better.

****not so funny section for a bit, it's baseball stuff and me stuff*****

Alrighty, other stuff to talk about, elections and baseball....duh! First, let's start with baseball. GO SOX!!!!
Ok, so it's odd. Being a sox fan for 18 years and for the first time when a season ends thinking "hey, this season didn't end shitty." is kinda new for me. So used to heartbreak that it's almost like we're a bit masocistic and kinda like that stinging pain that so many years in a row brought before. Ever go for a run and thought "my legs hurt now"? Then answered yourself with "this is awesome"? Yeah, me neither. What kind of a weirdo would ever think they liked that stuff. Ok, so i admit, i'm lying, i like it, i love it, i want more of it. But yeah, it's the oddest thing ever, after that last out, i just kind of stood there and kept repeating to myself "i'm confused, am i supposed to be happy?" over and over again. Then i went "oh yeah, this is cool."

****Let the funny resume****

So elections....and i think south park put it best "you get to vote for either a giant douche or a turd sandwich". I mean really...have we ever had two worse choices for president? Exactly, we haven't. The closest we've ever been to this shit of a decision before was way too long ago for my ass to remember. But yeah, the thing that really pisses me off with this are the fucking bumper stickers. Really and truly, have you realized how utterly retarded those things are for sooooooo many reasons. First off, they're only good for like 4 months MAX. Really, you put them on and then they just sit there on your car for god knows how long. The other day i saw a Dole-Kemp 96 sticker on some guys car. Does that make me think "wow, that guy voted for dole in 96."? NO! it makes me think "this guy is a dumb shit" not because they voted republican (which as i've mentioned before is pretty retarded) but because he's got a fucking sticker that's been outdated for 2 elections on his car. How lazy can you be? I mean really, it only takes like 2 seconds to get the thing off, but no, 8 years later and there it is "I supported a candidate with no chance of winning" in big bold letters on his car.

Then on to the effectiveness of these things. Never will anyone ever go "oh, you support Kerry. I can talk to you now." Or "that makes you a good driver". More likely when someone sees a bumper sticker they're thinking to themselves "that moron's voting for him?" or "this guy SUCKS at driving (and in turn life) and oh, look at that, he's dumb enough to vote the wrong way too." Really, has anyone in history gone "that guy in the explorer is voting republican, i should too" ? I think it's more likely that a swing voter says to himself "That was teh worst fucking driver ever, oh, and now i'm voting opposite of that fuckface." Cause who notices good driving? Nobody, that's right, nobody at all. I think i'm gonna start a new trend. I'm gonna put the bumper sticker of teh guy i don't like on my car and cut off as many people as possible, then flick them off. I think that would have a better effect for the guy i support, just fucking everyone on teh roads over under the guise of a support of the other stupid prick.

And all politicians are just that, stupid pricks. Has there ever been a successful one that didn't totally suck? Well, yes, but sooooo very few. There was Clinton. Granted, I know a whole lot of people that didn't like him for his policies. Whatever, that's not what i'm talking about. He's the kind of guy you could imagine having a bbq with, sitting back drinking a beer, shooting the shit. Basically, he did what any guy would do with that much power....8 years of blowjobs. I know that I would have done the exact same thing minus one little change. I would have found an attractive girl. Really, I know he's a busy guy, but really, she's on ugly bitch. Couldn't he have had the token hot chick for a slutty intern? Is that too much to ask out of the most powerful man in the world? Is that what we have to look forward to when we're president? I think if that's the case, i might just have to stick to being me. I may never get the hot chick, but at least I'm not stuck with teh decision between the not attractive wife and the fat intern. It's kinda like the tagline from Alien v. Predator....Whoever wins, we lose. And by we, i mean men. Our penises have to suffer for power. So, you have to ask yourself, do you feel lucky....punk? well, do ya? Cause if you don't, president isn't for you. If you do, may many hot interns await. And a hot wife, followed by a hot wife-intern threesome. That would soo rock my face off. mmmm, president sandwich. I'm just gonna think about that now and leave teh rest of you to your on devices. So that shall end the post, almost.

Quote of teh day "I'm in murders and executions" "I have a friend in mergers and acquistions..." and all of you can say this wasn't the funniest post ever, but deal with it, at least i wrote something.