My Stomach Itches

Like, right on the left lower part, just above my pants....but i'm too lazy to pull my shirt up or even move my hands from teh keyboard right now, so it'll stay that way. Ok, so it became unbearable and i had to give in. I mean, you ever get that itch that's not that bad, but it builds and builds til eventually, you feel like you're going to explode? But you can't give in, you feel like if you do, you're a lesser person or something. But I gave in, yes, it's true. I suck now, I must suck at life or something like that. But don't tell me that, tell it to this brand new puppet (my new mascot). Ok, so you can't see a puppet, can you? You must be blind, get those eyes checked. That's right, Bitches. So now that I have your attention, assuming your shoddy eyes can still read, on to the rest of the post....

Rules for wearing clothes: 1. If you aren't sure whether you should wear shorts or not and the temperature outside is higher than 80 degrees, then you shouldn't ever wear anything other than baggy shirts and pants, or dresses (option for women only), cause you aren't wondering whether to wear it for practical reasons (heat) but for asthetics (you're fat). 2. If you can't see a body part on the front side, don't wear any clothing tha forces us to see any body part other than your head, hands, wrists or forearms. 3. If you don't look in the mirror cause you don't like what you see, then don't make me look at it, I'm sensitive, and it's likely to warp my fragile little mind. 4. If you have to ask "Does this make me look fat?" the answer is most likely yes, cause we don't know, but really, does an outfit have an effect on that or should you just face facts? If it does, would some girl explain before I dig myself into a deeper whole by suggesting they should wear nothing other than baggy sweats everyday for the rest of their lives?

So yeah, it might seem like I'm picking on fat people, but I'm not. I just find it much too annoying when there are people walking around in clothes that they should never wear for the sake of humanity. Not like i'm asking all ugly people to walk around in masks, cause while that is a good idea, it would be considered insensitive and that's just not practical, since they would have to walk around in masks and really, they could make faces at us all day long without us knowing. I mean, FUCK SENSITIVITY!!! I don't particularly care what most people think, I'm worried about losing my sight to some fatass walking around in a tank top and daisy dukes. Sure, call me an asshole, I am being one about this, but hey, you're the one reading this aren't you? And you've read it before, so you've come to terms with the fact that I'm really bitter and I think the world is made up of degenerates and morons....

Speaking of morons, I have an idea for a new traffic system. You know those pollen counts and stuff like that where they go "pollen count is at 10000000 today, if you go outside you will immediately cease respiratory function due to the fact you will be breathing only pollen, no actual air will make it thru" well, think if instead of that there was an "Idiot Count" each day. On a day with an idiot count of 0, I'm the only one on the road, or at least there are so few that the chances of running into an idiot is close to 0. On a day with a count around 10, there are a few slow-downs due to pure stupidity, where if the drivers were smarter than they are traffic would be at 65 but since they're not it's at 50, not the end of the world, just stupidity. A count of 100 means there's an accident that could have been avoided but obviously people who don't know how to drive caused an accident, blocked up lanes and that stopped up traffic a bit. 500 is where 100 happened and those motherfuckers that think it lookes cool over in the crash are rubbernecking causing my 5 min. accident delay to be more like 20 min. 2000 is the pinnacle, my favorite and an Atlanta favorite, starts with 100, progresses to 500 and the problems along with the fact that merge and stop are the same word here, it gets worse. But wait, there's more, imagine if you will, rather than stopping properly, one of the cars plows into the car in front of it. This causes a second 100 and in turn a second 500. Now the inability to take side streets, carpool, merge, think, drive, use blinkers, look before changing lanes, or keep proper distance all take effect. This multiplies the accident and you hear the following words over the radio "(insert highway here) is a parking lot from (insert area here) to (insert second area miles away here) and it doesn't look like it's going anywhere soon. I think the front crash is 6 SUVs, all single passenger. The second crash looks much the same, alot of SUVs, I hear they were all on cell phones while changing radio stations and trying to get stuff from their back seats. Yes, you heard me right, it's miles of idiots below me." And all this without even getting to a 10000.

So yeah, there it is, my rant about stupid people is over for the night, so in turn, the post is over, cause that's what i do :-D