They've been lying to us!

Every day you hear it, and every time it's a lie. I just can't believe it took me so long to figure it out. I was driving today, stopped at a red light and this lady comes up to me with a bucket. That's when it hit me, they're lying thru their teeth, it's not even an attempt, they lie outright and constantly. What is this lie you ask???

JESUS SAVES!!!!!

He doesn't, not in the slightest. Why am I saying this? Is it because I like to debunk God? NO. Because I'm not a Christian? NO! Perhaps it's simply to piss some people off? not quite. Any guessers? well, you're all wrong.

It's a lie because if he did save, he wouldn't ask for donations so freaking often. I can just see it now. Last supper (right around 35 AD [or CE for us semites]), does he go for the meager meal? No, he goes all out, spends a ton, and with it every penny that he's got/been given. That's where this whole collection plate thing came from. The man couldn't pay for his meal, so what does he do? Passes around his plate to get enough. Lo and Behold, a tradition of spending money and asking for donations begins. So where is this lie, you may be thinking, maybe the church just wants a show of support, but now, that is not the case.

If Jesus saved, he could be living off the interest from all those people before now, but noooooooo, he just spends and spends and spends. Maybe this is where the jewish people are cheap thing came from. When the most famous one of the group is constantly asking for donations everybody else started to think "he's probably got the money, just doesn't want to spend it" while all along, he spends every penny he gets his hand on and just keeps asking for more, silly bastard.

Can't believe it took us soo long to figure it out. I mean, we're talking around 2000 years later, that's a pretty slow uptake by us, isn't it? Really though, I am doubting this saving thing very much so, cause really, if he does, he should have to borrow a ton less. And on top of that, I figure a guy that's been around that long should have a KILLER credit rating. He should take out a loan. Not a loan shark type loan, more bank. And the largest bank in the world is at his disposal....THE VATICAN!!!!

So really, the lesson of the day is never give money to those bucket on teh road people, chances are they just want to use it buy some of the crack rock. Well, ok, not all of them, just the ones in those little beanie caps that ride the tiny cars at parades, waht are they called again? Not clowns, and idiots isn't quite right. I know they're not masons persay, but a branch of the masons....is it the shiners? If so, they can wax my car for a donation :-P Hope that works for ya. So long for the day, and FUCK OFF!